January 2012
According to astronomy, when you wish upon a star,...
lolsofunny:
That star is dead, just like your dreams.
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In the future, with my daughter
*daughter walks through the door, late home*
Me: Where have you been, young lady? You're late!
Daughter: Sorry, I met a new friend and she invited me over.
Me: Oh, okay. Is she nice?
Her: Yeah, she has two dads though.
Me: That's completely normal, honey, you can't help who you fall in love with.
Her: Yeah, I know.
Me: Good.
Her: Harry and Louis are so nice, they're great parents.
Me: .....
Her: .....
Me: .....
Her: .....
Me: .....
Her: .....
Me: .....
Her: .....
Me: Give me her address now, get your things, we're going to live with them.
friend: did you know it takes 43 muscles to frown & only 17 to smile
me: did you know it takes 0 muscles to not give a fuck
Period's Late, haven't had sex. Must be carrying...
epic-humor:
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Sometimes my own laugh scares the hell out of me
thefaggotmonster:
I’m like, “Was that me?”
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On the last day of school:
shitbloggerssay:
Some people are like:
And other people are like:
And I’m just like:
That moment when you hear a song and every single...
shitbloggerssay:
